Masennus.

Aihe josta edelleen puhutaan todella vähän on masennus. Siitä mikä on masennus, mitä se tekee ihmiselle, lähipiirille, mitkä ovat vaikutukset. Olen kysynyt ideoita siihen mistä kirjoittaisin lukijoiltani ja moni laittoi ehdotuksena juurikin masennuksen. Itse en ole koskaan sairastanut masennusta, joten päätinkin kysyä eräältä minulle läheiseltä ihmiseltä jos hän kirjoittaisi omasta masennuksestaan. Anonyymiteetin vuoksi hän kirjoitti ilman nimeä.

Tässä ystäväni kirjoitus:

”Masennus. Tuo elämää piinaava sairaus. Omalla kohdallani en ole edes varma, milloin se on alkanut. Todennäköisesti 17-18 vuotta sitten, kun ensimmäinen poikaystäväni kävi kimppuuni muutaman kerran. En sillon kuitenkaan tajunnut asian vakavuutta, vaan jatkoin hymyilemistä, kuin mikään ei olisi ollut pielessä. Onnekseni pääsin kyseisestä ihmisestä kuitenkin eroon reilun vuoden seurustelun jälkeen.

Vuosien varrella on sattunut ja tapahtunut kaikenlaista, mikä on vaikuttanut siihen, että nyt keikun vakavan masennuksen rajoilla. Vaikea parisuhde lapseni isän kanssa, joka sisälsi henkistä kiusaamista. Vaikea raskaus, johon en saanut ymmärrystä. Synnytyksen jälkeen masennuksen paheneminen. Yksinäisyys vauvavuotena. Parisuhteen päättyminen siihen, että lapseni isä petti minua. Kaiken romahtaminen lapseni ollessa alle vuoden ikäinen. Ystävien kaikkoaminen eron jälkeen. Ja pahimpana tämän kaiken keskellä se, etten saanut lääkäristä muuta apua, kuin reseptin kouraan saatesanoilla ”syö näitä ohjeen mukaan”. Kävin näiden vuosien aikana useampaan otteeseen lääkärissä, mutta ongelmiin ei tartuttu niiden vaatimalla vakavuudella.

Käännekohta omalla kohdallani masennuksen hoidossa tapahtui kolmisen vuotta sitten, kun ahdistavan työpaikan seurauksena romahdin aivan pohjalle. Kävin oman terveyskeskuksen lääkärillä. Lääkäri ei kirjoittanut lääkkeitä, hän ohjasi minut keskusteluavun piiriin, johon pääsin heti  lääkärikäynnin jälkeen ja kirjoitti sairaslomaa. Lääkehoito aloitettiin vasta kuukausi romahtamisen jälkeen. Siitä asti on ollut olo, että nyt tämä otetaan vakavasti.

Masennuksen hyväksyminen on ollut helpottavin tekijä, mitä itse olen tehnyt. Olen viimeisimmän romahduksen jälkeen ollut asiasta avoin ja kertonut siitä rehellisesti kaikille. Kaikki ei sitä ole kestänyt ja ystävien määrä on kutistunut hyvin pieneksi. Elämä on ollut melkomoista vuoristorataa viime vuodet ja jälkensä se on jättänyt. Hyvän kauden aikana odotan, että koska tulee seuraava romahdus. Pohjalla ollessani mietin, että nousenko täältä enää. Mutta kuitenkin aina olen noussut ja haluan uskoa, että niin nousen tälläkin kertaa.

Minulle suurin voimaa antava asia on oma lapseni, joka tuo iloa ja hymyä jokaiseen päivään. Vaikeinta on iltaisin, lapsen jo nukkuessa, voittaa ahdistus ja synkät ajatukset. Mutta onneksi tiedän, että näinä hetkinä voin tarvittaessa ottaa puhelimen käteen ja esimerkiksi soittaa ystävistä parhaimmalle, Susannalle <3″

Kiitos ystäväni kun kirjoitit <3

37 KOMMENTIT

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